"Big beautiful breakup": why no one is surprised that Trump dumped Musk

When Friedrich Merz visited Donald Trump at the White House last week, Trump publicly jibed Elon Musk for the first time in the presence of the German Chancellor. Since then, American Trump haters have been able to indulge a German sentiment: Schadenfreude (Schadenfreude). A word that has been adopted into English.

Talk show host Stephen Colbert "reveled in schadenfreude," wrote the New York Times, when he commented on the flame war between the "world's most famous best friends" on his late-night show. A sigh of relief and malicious pleasure can also be heard in various articles published in the newspaper since Thursday. This sinister relationship, which only increased the power of the two men, is finally over.

The left-liberal New York Magazine advised Democrats to stay out of the feud "and enjoy it." The conservative tabloid New York Post ran the headline "Big, beautiful breakup," alluding to Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill," the new tax law that triggered the escalation.

The media, and the rest of the world with them, have been waiting for this for a long time. The end was already written into the beginning. Those who predicted it weren't just expressing wishful thinking because they perhaps didn't like the men: The fact that this friendship was doomed to fail is also rooted in the personalities of the two. They are both too much of an alpha male, who won't tolerate anyone of equal standing alongside them in the long term. The attraction turned into repulsion.

As is often the case with Trump, his relationship with Musk was based on a deal. A job in Washington and direct access to the president in exchange for a campaign donation from the tech billionaire. Musk became Trump's personal advisor and was tasked with streamlining the government. This is why there is often talk of the end of a marriage of convenience. But that's too simplistic. The couple's emotional turmoil was too high during their public separation.

For weeks after Trump's election victory, it seemed as if this was the beginning of a close male friendship, the likes of which had rarely been seen between two such rich and powerful men. Musk rarely left Trump's side. He liked the fact that the media called him "First Buddy." He was a regular guest at Trump's private residence, Mar-a-Lago, accompanied him to Saturday night martial arts shows and golfing on Sundays. Trump's granddaughter Kai even called Musk "Uncle Elon."

Musk posed in family photos, while First Lady Melania was absent. The media mocked whether Musk could take on the duties of First Lady, who has never been interested in the role. Maureen Dowd, star columnist for the New York Times, suggested renaming Elon Elonia.

Musk may have started the dispute, and perhaps Trump wouldn't have continued to speak ill of his former first buddy. Both have a lot to lose economically and politically from a final break. The fact that the rift came so quickly and so violently confirms, above all, a pattern of Trump's behavior.

With such excessive self-love, there's little room for others. First, someone is welcomed into the inner circle. Then, all it takes is one irritation, and they're dropped. An erratic man like Musk, who thinks just as highly of himself, was predestined for this.

Now, one should be cautious about making diagnoses from a distance. In the US, this is a clear guideline issued by professional psychological associations. They felt compelled to do so eight years ago, when Trump first became president and was often accused of having a narcissistic disorder.

But even one of the most prominent narcissism experts later made an exception. Psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg saw in Trump aspects of his research, namely, that someone who constantly needs to be admired for their own greatness is incapable of love. This is evident in the narcissist's aggressiveness and sensitivity when criticized, and in his lies. He is incapable of empathizing with others. Instead, he lashes out wildly when he feels threatened.

When Tony Schwartz, Trump's ghostwriter on "Art of the Deal," later dared to criticize Trump, he called him ungrateful and a traitor. "I wish you a wonderful life," were reportedly Trump's angry last words. He didn't take it personally, Schwartz wrote in 2016. "Because in truth, he didn't mean it personally. People are unimportant in Trump's world, disposable." He only cares about them as long as they are useful to him.

Anthony Scaramucci, chosen by Trump as communications director during his first term, also went through the process of going from friend to foe. After just ten days, Trump fired him, calling Scaramucci a complete failure. The experience was a nightmare, Scaramucci said on Swiss television last week: it was a mistake simply to work for Trump. However, it wasn't just about differences of opinion. Scaramucci was also abusive toward staff and scheming.

Because Trump and Musk are similar, the situation escalated publicly. The two men idealized each other to elevate themselves and increase their own popularity. And now they are immensely disappointed in each other. Disappointment is part of their attitude to life. They use it as leverage.

Perhaps they are also disappointed by their own misjudgment, by having been so mistaken about someone else, and don't want to admit it. A narcissist is incapable of recognizing their own inadequacies. Before they doubt themselves, they begin to despise and devalue the other person.

Musk called Trump ungrateful. Trump declared Musk crazy. To which Musk gloated: He'd still be around in 40 years, long after Trump had faded away.

"The girls are fighting, aren't they?" said Democratic Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Female journalists mocked her: Although they considered themselves real men, they apparently loved the "catfight," the bickering between women.

"War of the Roses" is a better description, though, a term that is now also often used to describe the alleged end of this relationship. Two people who were deeply connected are no longer on good terms and want to harm each other. Trump recovered quickly after the public mudslinging.

He said in an interview with NBC News over the weekend that he has no interest in reconciling with Musk or even talking to him. He threatened the entrepreneur with "serious consequences" if he now supports the Democrats: "If he does that, he will have to pay the price." He didn't say what he meant by that.

Trump sounds offended and defiant, but he appears more confident compared to Musk's "shit posting," the cascade of angry and threatening posts on X. He has since deleted the claim that Trump's name was mentioned in documents related to the case of sex offender Jeremy Epstein. On Sunday, he even reshared a post by Trump in which Trump insulted California Governor Gavin Newsom and blamed him for the street protests in Los Angeles.

Trump, although equally prone to impulsiveness, is more in control when it matters. He's better at controlling people, playing on their emotions, and using them.

One shouldn't make diagnoses from afar. Trump, however, is doing it himself. Musk, in the presence of Friedrich Merz, told the media that he suffers from "Trump derangement syndrome." The term is used derogatorily for Trump opponents who obsess over Trump.

With psychological skill, Trump attacked Musk on a personal level. He continued: Musk has become hostile, like so many before him, because he can no longer bask in the glory of the White House. Musk is now like everyone else. At least according to Trump's will.